From the recordings Hopefully More than a Blanket of 'I' Statements and Hopefully More than a Blanket of 'I' Statements (Streaming)
Lyrics
Dear mikew422, I hope you’re knowing that this message is addressed to you, and all the 29 users who gave you positive reviews on purchasing their vinyl from Discogs.com—and they knew that plastic is a hard material, not meant to be moved across Virginia’s borderline by means of post office feud, within inadequate packaging. I’ma nag that you managed to thinking bubble wrap was best for safety traveling to my house in Florida. The dumbest thing I heard out of you was that one’s writing “fragile: do not bend,” is not overdue, as you had claimed USPS said, in our online dispute. You are obtuse if thinking that a record’s malleable. It doesn’t bend, just like my patience for you bending the truth that I am cowardly and cheap and out to swindle by ruse. But my not paying for insurance wasn’t having a clue. You didn’t offer it’s option so I assumed you would do like any other seller taking the precautionary measure to secure its contents with a stiffener to include. You say my fighting losing $16 makes me a Jew? I’ll have you know that this is all based upon principles, dude. And I will not be left degraded by the wanton and rude. Your lightly speckled cute profanity’s not helping my mood. I’ve been both polite and professional in messaging you, and all the while you’ve lost your temperament, I’m maintaining cool despite by $16 in the hole and broke-ass fuckin’ vinyl. Like all sales is final? Fuck your customer service, Sir. I’m certain if your negligence was next-to-none, then we’d be on our merry way to rate transactions A+. Enough avoiding your deficiencies—I’m hardly amused while waiting patiently for PayPal, choosing whose money’s whose. So let this be my proclamation to the world: Mike W., when this has all come to pass you will still be a douche! {Hook} Don’t fuck with the man with the microphone! When you know you’re at fault renouncing, let’s play ball. You underestimate my scope to openly berate it. Don’t fuck with the man with the microphone! I’ve got stage to rant. You’ve got your dick in hand. Like after Paul’s Boutique—check your dome! Don’t fuck with the man with the microphone! Go sodomize yourself while drinking to my health. If you contest that, *you get blown the fuck up.*